confession.

i know that for some "feeling" God or the need to "feel" God is usually interpreted as immaturity in our Christian walk. for me i think i realized why it matters to me sometimes that i feel God.

it isn't that i question God or if He is real. i think it is...

i want to "feel" God not because i don't know if He is there, i just need to know that He knows i am here...

ever feel like you did a side step or missed God? it is for me in those moments where i am screaming out, "God i know you had a perfect place but i messed it up, again, and i should probably be way over there but i chose to go here and now i need to know you know i am here and i goofed because i want to end up where you want me."

you're probably way past that stage but for me i think it is that i am understanding a little better why i look to "feel" God in those stages of regret.

Bishop Jakes says, "regret is bring the power of your past into your present." that's a very scary thing and it can weigh us down. it is in those moments we look for the strength of God to carry not just our regrets but carry us through.

moments like these, i want to feel, hear, taste, or even smell God... not to know He is there, but to simply remember that He knows that i am here.